Chick Tracts; Or, Moron Alert!

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," slaughtering kittens in pentagrams since ...

Wait a minute. We've never slaughtered kittens in pentagrams!

Remember those little Christian tracts you always see crumpled up in trash cans? Now you can read them online. Elvis Drinkmo alerted me on his new blog DCComitician. (It's a great site. Where else can you ponder What Would Starfleet Command Do?)

The site is called Chick Publications. And the fare hasn't changed since I was a kid and earnest-looking church ladies passed them out at carnivals.

Of course I was eager to see how Chick Lit portrays Druids, and I was not disappointed. I do hope these pictures copy in a readable way, but if they don't, go to the site and click on "BOO."

Wow. No wonder Dogson ... err ... Dobson rails against us! We're spooky! And forget about kittens! We want virgins! Human sacrifice! Especially on our spookiest day, Halloween!

Oh, pleeeeeze. What moron's lively imagination conjured up this wackadoo horse piffle?

I pity the trees that got pulped for this garbage.

Can I speak for Druids everywhere? I think so. We are peace-loving and highly moral people. As for Satan, he belongs to their pantheon, not ours. Stop passing him off on us.

I close with

EXHIBIT A: CREEPY DRUIDS

No, can't resist an EXHIBIT B:

Casey Jones, Foster Kitten NOT SLAUGHTERED

Beannachd leat,

ANNE, THE EVER-SO-NOT-CREEPY MERLIN OF BERKELEY SPRINGS